What a Mess

What I know about Eton, Berkshire, England: Not much. Nothing, in fact. Not a single thing. Mention the place and I come up with the mental equivalent of colored bars or radio static or images of those dancing, singing, helium-enraged, claymation elves you vaguely remember seeing every drunken Christmas afternoon on public access television.

The only thing that comes to mind when Eton is mentioned, really, is the The Jam song “Eton Rifles.” I don't even know what the song is about. Presumably about Eton the place. Maybe not. Now, let me tell you what I know about The Jam. Also not a whole lot. I do know that they were cool. Damn cool. They were THE seminal mod rock band in the late 70's and early 80's. Paul Weller, possibly one of the most hip guys alive, fronted the Jam. That much I know. I also know that during the 80's when Paul looked around at the explosion of ankle warmers, bangles, and fluorescent clothing he shook his head, single handedly took “cool,” folded it into a tiny package, and slipped it into his back pocket saying: “I'll hold on to this until the rest of you need it again.” He has yet to return it.

Oh, also, I know about Eton Mess. It is a dessert so pathetically cheap in ingredients I have only once seen it on a menu. It's a traditional English dish invented at Eaton College sometime in the 20's or 30's. The “mess” part of the name is is derived from the unsightly appearance of cream mixed with strawberries and crumbled meringue. The dessert reeks of poverty, leftovers, economy, and grand-scale food service.

And it tastes bloody good.



Look, this is so simple, you don't need a recipe, really. Traditionally, Eton Mess is made by layering whipped cream, crumbled meringue, and strawberries. Any berry will do.

To make the one in the picture I whipped some cream, but did not sweeten it. I tossed some blackberries into the bottom of a glass, sprinkled them with a splash of blackberry liqueur, and covered them with the whipped cream and some crumbled meringue. A layer of raspberries next, followed by more cream and finished with crumbled meringue.

That's it. Let's get to eating.